Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 6 – The DNA Decision

chrissy

Check out Day 6 of the Miss.Conception Coach Bloggers Fertility Conference!

It is such an honor to be part of this online conference!  Today, one of my blog posts is featured in this conference.  Please check out the link below for my perspective on “The DNA Decision” when we went through the process of using an egg donor.

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 6

For more information about “Miss.Conception Coach” and this inspiring online community, please visit:

www.missconceptioncoach.com

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Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 5 – Guest Post, Meet Whitney!

Whitney

Check out Day 5 of the Miss.Conception Coach Bloggers Fertility Conference! I will be one of the participants in this conference and I am very excited to get to share a part of my story through such a supportive forum. I hope you will be inspired to follow along as I’m sure you will feel a connection to the stories being shared. This is a journey we do not have to face alone. Check out today’s post by Whitney at Running with PCOS:

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 5

For more information about “Miss.Conception Coach” and this inspiring online community, please visit:

www.missconceptioncoach.com

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 4 – Guest Post, Meet Halie!

Halie

Check out Day 4 of the Miss.Conception Coach Bloggers Fertility Conference! I will be one of the participants in this conference and I am very excited to get to share a part of my story through such a supportive forum. I hope you will be inspired to follow along as I’m sure you will feel a connection to the stories being shared. This is a journey we do not have to face alone. Check out today’s post by Halie at Then I Look Up at the Sky:

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 4

For more information about “Miss.Conception Coach” and this inspiring online community, please visit:

www.missconceptioncoach.com

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 3 – Guest Post, Meet Laura!

Laura

Check out Day 3 of the Miss.Conception Coach Bloggers Fertility Conference! I will be one of the participants in this conference and I am very excited to get to share a part of my story through such a supportive forum. I hope you will be inspired to follow along as I’m sure you will feel a connection to the stories being shared. This is a journey we do not have to face alone. Check out today’s post by Laura at Making Baby Provence

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 3

For more information about “Miss.Conception Coach” and this inspiring online community, please visit:

www.missconceptioncoach.com

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 2 – Guest Post, Meet Chelsea!

Chelsea

Check out Day 2 of the Miss.Conception Coach Bloggers Fertility Conference! I will be one of the participants in this conference and I am very excited to get to share a part of my story through such a supportive forum. I hope you will be inspired to follow along as I’m sure you will feel a connection to the stories being shared. This is a journey we do not have to face alone.  Check out today’s post by Chelsea with Starbucks, Peace and the Pursuit of a Baby:

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 2

For more information about “Miss.Conception Coach” and this inspiring online community, please visit:

www.missconceptioncoach.com

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 1 – Guest Post, Meet Elena!

Elena

The online Fertility Conference hosted by “Miss.Conception Coach” has kicked off!  I will be one of the participants in this conference and I am very excited to get to share a part of my story through such a supportive forum.  I hope you will be inspired to follow along as I’m sure you will feel a connection to the stories being shared.  This is a journey we do not have to face alone.

Check out the post for Day 1 of the conference from blogger,  Elena with Baby Ridley Bump Blog:

Miss.Conception Coach Fertility Conference Day 1

For more information about “Miss.Conception Coach” and this inspiring online community, please visit:

www.missconceptioncoach.com

Gone, Gone, Gone and Back at it Again

out at the sea

In March, I experienced yet another failed embryo transfer cycle. It had been our 7th attempt and physically and emotionally, I was just done. Done. My heart couldn’t take it anymore.   We made the decision to take a three month break. I had all of April, May and June to stop thinking about it, to stop scheduling my life around doctor appointments and injections and to just be me for three whole months. I added creativity into my life and got back to playing around with photography. I joined a new gym and kept up with regular workouts. I started going to acupuncture. My husband and I went on vacation and had a fabulous time visiting friends. I got involved in an online support group for people like me and it gave me courage to stick to our plan of coming back after three months.

Today is the start of a new two-cycle process, which will lead to our 8th embryo transfer.   I found myself having doubts and questioning if I should go through this again. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to say goodbye to my “three month break” yet. I remember thinking on my 3rd try, that maybe it was lucky, because “third time’s a charm” right? But now, going on to number 8? How do I get my head back into this with any optimism after all of my heartache and disappointment? My mind was swirling with doubt and apprehension as I drove to my doctor appointment today. Can I really do this again? As I was driving and trying to convince myself that I was ready for all this, a song came on the radio that guided my doubts to a screeching halt. The message I was waiting for was right there for me…

In previous posts, I’ve talked about our baby, Jaxon. I talked about saying goodbye and spreading his ashes in the ocean.   The song that we played while saying goodbye and looking out at the sea was, “Gone, Gone, Gone” by Phillip Phillips. This is the song that started to play on the radio on my way to the doctor today. And somehow in that moment, my baby’s soul was with me and I knew this couldn’t yet be the end. I had to go keep going and begin again, even though it will be our 8th beginning. Here we are back at it again, with my heart beating for you.

“Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you.

And long after you’re gone, gone, gone.

I’ll love you long after you’re gone, gone, gone.”

Photo by CJE

This is Me

31chances_Chrissy2About six months ago when I started this blog, I wasn’t sure how I would feel about putting such personal and emotionally painful experiences into words for anyone to read. I wasn’t sure who else was out there that may be writing about miscarriages and infertility and whether or not connections would be created through the blogging world. It was a new realm of social media for me and I didn’t know what to expect. What would my friends and family think? What would my husband think? I had been writing for a couple of weeks before I even told my husband about my blog. With so much uncertainty, I decided to be an anonymous blogger.

When I started writing, I just knew that I needed this place to put my heartbreak and confusion and sadness. I needed a way to honor the babies that I had lost. I needed a way to tell people close to me what I had been through without having to talk through the story over and over again. I hoped that others would understand why I was writing and how much it helped me to share my story. Writing seems to give me a place to put my pain so that I don’t have to carry it with me all the time.

As I began writing, the connections slowly started with one “like” and one comment. I’m not a blogger with a lot of followers, but I have now connected with enough of you to know that in this journey, I am not alone. What I have discovered is that there are so many of us struggling with infertility, pregnancy loss or both. I have discovered that the stories are different but the pain and heartache are the same. I have discovered empathy and support from people that I’ve never met in person. I’ve discovered an online support group that I wish I had found 3 years ago.   I don’t want to be anonymous behind my story. I’m so much more than the words that I share about this one part of my life.

So, here it goes. This is me.

My name is Chrissy and…..

I am 41 years old.

coastal walk  kaylee coast  polka dot headbandsI love to go out walking with my dog and as you’ve seen in previous posts, I love my dog. She is a rescued pitbull and her name is Kaylee. I dress her up for holidays and take funny pictures of her.

Kaylee red boa

I love photography and I enjoy taking pictures of anything that I think is pretty. I have my own Etsy shop where I sell cards of my photographs.

I hate to cook but married someone who loves to cook (thank goodness).

chrissymike-291  chrissymike-765  wedding 1

I met my husband on eHarmony. I never believed in love at first sight until I met him.

We got engaged 5 months later.

When I was a kid, I was a gymnast, a swimmer and a ballet dancer. I quit gymnastics and swimming almost 30 years ago but I can still do a cartwheel and I can still swim butterfly.

I am a stepmom to a teenage boy.

I’ve had an 18 year career in the biopharmaceutical industry.

Until I started this infertility journey I was very career driven. Now I’m very baby driven.

ParisOn our honeymoon, we got to go to many places including Paris, Aix-en-Provence, Nice, Cannes, and Monaco. It was a dream come true. I found out that Pierre Hermé macarons are delicious and it was worth our trek through Paris in the pouring rain to find them.

PeruA few years ago I went on a 40 mile hike through Peru. I left within just days of meeting my husband. I came home with a $1,000 cell phone bill.

I have 3 siblings and I love them so much!

Sometimes I accidentally snort when I laugh.

I am a melanoma survivor.

me and dad2I lost my Dad to cancer in 2008. I’ll never forget the sound of his voice when he said, “Hi Sweetie” and I’ll never forget his laugh.

My favorite flowers are Gerbera daisies.

I have a sweet tooth weakness for dark chocolate, chocolate cake and peppermint patties.

My guilty pleasure is watching “The Bachelor” or “The Bachelorette” TV shows. And by the way, if any of you are in Bachelor Nation, you’ve got to check out the blog, www.Ihategreenbeans.com for the Bachelor Recaps. You will not stop laughing.

chrissy little  childhood photoI had a very happy childhood including an awesome teddy bear collection, wonderful grandparents, loving and dedicated parents, lots of pets, and my Dad rocket launching my sister and I into the air in every hotel pool we visited. My mom has been my rock through everything in life.

I think The Muppets are totally awesome.

“Sixteen Candles” is my favorite movie.

I think I have my mom’s eyes and my dad’s smile.

I love giggle fits with my sister.

Thanks for getting to know me.

Love,

Chrissy

Wedding photography:  Mary Bernsen

Other images:  CJE

Bloggers Fertility Conference with Miss. Conception Coach Starting July 13, 2015

IMG_6794To all of you out there struggling with infertility and bravely sharing your story to help create strength and support in an online and blogger community, I would like to invite you to the Bloggers Fertility Conference starting July 13, 2015. This online conference has been created by Chiemi Rajamahendran, Founder of Miss.Conception Coach. The online conference will share stories like yours from blogs within the infertility community. One of my blog posts was selected for the conference and I’m very excited to participate!

Please go to www.missconceptioncoach.com to “become a member” and join this fabulous community. Chiemi also offers a private Facebook group that I have found to be incredibly valuable. It’s a wonderful and private way to ask questions and to share your feelings, fears, excitement, and disappointments. It’s an amazing support group that you can lean on and know that your posts will be met with empathy and understanding from those going through similar situations. I would love to chat with you there!

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